How to Deal with The Past Experiences to Foster Self-Development

One cannot fully forget what the past has brought him. They say that experience is the best teacher of all, but can someone say that past experiences also hinder personal growth? For me it is a yes, depending on how we take our past memories and how we adjust our viewpoint about it. A person can totally manage himself to let go of the past and move on, but I will write about how these past memories can be a factor to depression, low self-esteem and how to deal with it.

Some situations in life hunt us, it keeps us from stepping or moving forward. It is more worst compared to monsters underneath a child's bed. Every time a person wants to achieve or do something that can improve him/her as a person, doubts always comes in the way. Asking oneself if he can do it, or will it benefit him, what if he flunked? Some of our logical reasoning or actions are rooted from past experiences. The best example to explain this is, if a friend of yours gave you your first gift and you found out that he/she just wants to pull a prank on you, maybe you will not accept a gift from anyone anymore. This truth might be true to some, but not applicable to all. Some managed to accept the fact that you cannot change the past anymore. If you were given the opportunity to go back to that moment, with the same you before, you will probably do the same thing.

THESE ARE THE REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT THINK ABOUT THE PAST TOO MUCH:

• You cannot forgive yourself
• One cannot move forward and live his/her life
• A person might give his/her past too much thought and he/she will end up depressing himself/herself.
• It can cause a very low self-esteem.
• One cannot practice the habit of accepting constant things.
• A person can become a coward to accept changes.
• You will only remember how it felt.

and lastly...

• IT WILL HINDER YOUR GROWTH AS A PERSON.

If you will still be in your denial stage, and won't take the challenge of facing yourself and improve for the better, it is your choice. You will still be the same person and your depression might cause you bigger problems. This might stop you from living your life.

But, if you are the type of person who is aware of the condition of your mind-being and have the courage to embrace the challenge, ask yourself these questions.

why should I change?

what benefits it will bring me?

how will I start?

I have been this stage before. I had the hardest time to socialize with people because of the bad experiences with no-good people. They have keeping me down for these past years of my teenage life and I am very grateful that I have overcome these and let myself be free.

Let me answer the 1st question: "why should I change?"

Simple, if you love yourself, change for the better. First you must be aware of what you are right now as a person. If you can't trust your own opinions, it is better to ask reliable to people illustrate to you your present self. You can do this if you are having a hard time analyzing things for yourself. One cannot find solutions to a problem if you don't know what needs to be solved. Second, and the most important of all, love yourself a little bit more. It will encourage you to live your life and be a better person. DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS BECAUSE YOU ARE UNIQUE AND SPECIAL IN YOUR OWN WAY. You might have heard this a thousand of times but it comes in handy in times of these. Always keep a note on your phone, bedroom or even in your laptop. Saying: I AM SPECIAL.

"what benefits it will bring me?"

It will make your life more bearable, acceptable and livable. Self-appreciation is one key to happiness. If you can have the ability to appreciate yourself, what you are capable of, you can set your foot to the road for a better change. It will also bring positive outlook in life that will make you see all the amazing things in this world. The only thing you have to learn is to love yourself, to forgive yourself, to appreciate yourself. Do anything that you know you are skilled of. Like making a chair, or drawing the most funniest doodle. You can have a better relationship with yourself. It is not healthy if you keep your troubles just by yourself. It will make you a better you. Always keep in mind that you are human, mistakes makes you human, emotions makes you human. Nobody is perfect, so accept the fact that you are not.

"how will I start?"

Accept yourself. No one can do this except for you. You cannot change what happened in the past, believe that everything happen for a sole purpose. If you don't know what lies ahead, trust God and have faith in Him. Someday, you will know what is the reason for all those happenings in your life. No problem that has no solution. Seek and you shall find.

Love yourself a little bit more. Isn't it too tiring to be sober for the rest of your life? Enjoy, explore, love to the extreme. One cannot tell what life can bring us, but one thing is for sure, give happiness, and you will receive one. To give is to receive right?

I don't recommend to run away from your past, sit and let yourself breath, think about everything, reminisce. Panic won't do you any good, it can bring you bad attitude in life.

Change your viewpoint. A person can control your emotions just by changing the way he sees the situation. For example, a bad controversy about a superstar popped. This may be bad for the superstar, but can be a good opportunity for the paparazzi's . You make your own world. It is made out of your viewpoints and perspectives. Believe that if you will be able to control your thinking, you will be able to control your life too.

Our time here is short, make the most out of it. Smile if you have the time, enjoy every thing that surrounds you. This is one way to cure depression. Healthy mind can make you the best person.

So there it is, all the advice that I can give you guys. I believe that giving my learned principles is always a big help for other people. Get up, and start the challenge of change. It is the only constant thing in this world. :)

lovelots,

mitchie <3